I’ve always had people tell me I should consider modeling, but recently I’ve had a LOT of people tell me I should definitely consider it alongside acting. The good ol’ blog seems like the perfect place to try it out, … Continue reading

These little wonders, these twists & turns of fate…

{Listening to…}

Our lives are made In these small hours

These little wonders,

These twists & turns of fate

Time falls away,

But these small hours,

These small hours still remain

Let it slide,

Let your troubles fall behind you

Let it shine

Until you feel it all around you

And I don’t mind

If it’s me you need to turn to

We’ll get by,

It’s the heart that really matters in the end

I was really convinced that I would blog at least a little bit, but I turned around and my first semester of college is already over. Within the first half of the semester, I began to realize more and more that I was not meant to be majoring in dance. I don’t intend on becoming a prima ballerina or even dancing for a company (as tempting as the dream of becoming a Rockette is). More than ever I’ve been drawn to writing, directing, producing, and acting. Basically, film making in general. I think a better way to put is I am interested in storytelling. So I changed my major to theatre, and I have never felt more at peace about anything college related until now. I’m eagerly looking forward to next semester, when I will pick up my classes for theatre. Just yesterday I registered for my spring classes and all I could do was grin while I talked to our theatre director (also my advisor) about the coming theatre classes I would be taking. It was such a huge weight off my shoulders to turn in the drop slip that freed me from going to half a dozen dance classes every week. I stayed in one dance class (modern dance) because I do still enjoy dance and it will snag me one of the PE credits I need to graduate. A couple of months ago I worked the crew in the theatre at school (all dance majors did per request of our instructor/advisor) and I enjoyed it so much. It was a very small show and the atmosphere backstage was very slow and easygoing. I’ve had experience with hectic backstage environments with dance and I can tell already that I’m really going to love working crew. Not to mention I get to use the shop and learn how my school makes all their props. And then a few weeks ago I worked my first show as a theatre major! I also finally met people who I really get along with and connect with (basically we’re all weirdos..) Now I’m already starting on rehearsals for our dinner theatre that is in January. This time I’m actually in the show, which actually came as a surprise to me.

Towards the beginning of the semester (when I was still a dance major), I auditioned in our theatres open auditions. It was the first time I had ever auditioned for anything and I had simply shown up, not knowing anyone and not being prepared. Thankfully it was just a read through, because I didn’t have any monologues prepared. Everyone told me I did really well, but unfortunately they have to give preference to theatre majors during casting. During that read through we read a script for a dinner theatre spoof of Agatha Christie’s Poirot. I read for a character called Isabella, and I really enjoyed it! But since I didn’t get a part I didn’t really give any of it much thought from then on.

Then nearly my entire first semester went by before I started giving theatre serious thought. After changing my major as I said before, I met with my advisor to have her help me arrange my classes for next semester. Out of the blue, she said she really wanted me to be in their dinner theatre. I was under the assumption that this show had been cast for weeks, but I said I would totally be up for it.

Last month we had our first read through of the play and it was so much fun. I felt right at home, like I finally found people at school who were like me (also know as “freaks”). I got to read for Isabella again and became thoroughly convinced that it was the role that I wanted (even though I read for almost all the female roles). Seriously. Isabella falls into a wedding cake. I really wanted that part. Even though I have never done anything like this, I felt so relaxed and not nervous at all. It’s an extremely encouraging feeling, seeing as changing my major right before the deadline to drop classes this semester was kind of ridiculous to some people. I just felt it was the right thing to do for myself, and it turns out it was exactly what I needed. (Oh yeah, and I got the part of Isabella.)

Just like I learned about halfway through the semester that I needed to change my major for my own good, I’ve also discovered that I’m simply not in the right place. I live in south Georgia, and it feels like the most limiting, stifling, uneventful place in the entire state. I crave being surrounded by like-minded people. Creative people who strive to achieve goals and follow their dreams. South Georgia definitely isn’t the place to find those people. Not saying there aren’t any here (hey, I’m here aren’t I? and I’ve met some pretty amazing people here too) but most people come here because they are content to live in small town Georgia for the rest of their lives (nothing wrong with that either, it’s just not for everyone). The idea of moving to Orlando or Atlanta (or anywhere, really) and transferring schools after I have 30 credit hours keeps pushing its way into my brain and I don’t think I’m going to ignore it. I feel the need to prepare for it and not doing anything to work towards that goal makes me antsy. Since I really enjoy working in the shop backstage at school I think I’m going to look into a work-study job.

 

But anyway, enough serious adult mumbo jumbo, it’s Christmas time and it very literally snuck up on me! I had a great Thanksgiving, and we went to get a Christmas tree the day after with my sister Tana, brother-in-law, and friend Katrina. We also did some portrait photography that was so much fun! (hint, hint. future posts!)

 

Merry Christmas to you all ♥

What’s been going on? (and an update on my general self)

I feel like it’s been ages since I blogged regularly. Probably because it has been ages (or a couple of years at least) I have completely lost my followers but I don’t really feel like those particular people would be very interested in the person I am now. I really need to get back into writing my thoughts and general happenings of life out more, because I literally just about typed “idk” in a blog post. (I blame texting my best friend all hours of my every day. Grace you’re making me illiterate, stop it.)

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I haven’t blogged (really blogged, with my whole heart put into the endeavor) since about 2012, which was when I really got to know and became best friends with my fraternal twin (please don’t ask for a DNA test, just go with it) Grace. I’ve met so many people in the time since then, and become a part of communities that I fit into much better than “white girl hipster photographer” Blogger world. (Don’t take offence, we all went through that phase.) In the past two years life has slowly but surely been gaining momentum, and blogging had to take a back seat. Besides, how could I spend all my time blogging about a life I didn’t have time to live because I was too busy…blogging? Scheduling posts, trying to come up with new post formats to reel in more readers, trying to think of more appealing ways to word the same popular topics that everyone and their grandma were posting about. It all had a very scripted, journalist feel. Like someone else was reporting on my life? I’m not sure, but it was really weird and really stressful on me at the wee age of 16 as I was still trying to figure out what my path even was, let alone what to write about it. Now at the ripe old age of 18 (I’m being sarcastic, for those of you who don’t really know me I do that a lot. If there’s anything I’ve learned in the past couple of years is that I don’t know that much and I should keep my mouth shut on certain matters or risk looking like a moron.), I’ve been an assistant dance instructor for a year, taken the GED and SAT (receiving fairly exceptional scores), gotten my drivers license and I’m now applying to a two year small scale state college (majoring in dance). I toured the school this past week and it’s really nice. Everything is updated, the dance studio is fantastic…and did I mention they have a student center with a rock wall, bowling, video games, free wifi and several restaurants? Yeah, this is going to be a nice transition. It’s in the town my dad works in, so I’ll be living at home (for the first year at least). Housing costs an extra $3,000 or so per semester (with a meal plan), so I really had no choice but to forego that idea for at least the first year.

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I’m looking forward to my main focus being dance. I got a general rundown of the classes I’ll be taking and the generous amount of time I’ll be spending in the dance studio excites me. Most likely the majority of my free time will be spent in the gym or doing homework. Which is fine with me, I love being busy. I suppose it’s not that I love being busy so much as I love pursuing things. Busywork definitely isn’t my thing. Chores and the day to day dragging around doesn’t exactly sooth me even if it is something of my “comfort zone”. Going to a public school will be a new experience for me, something different is likely to happen at every turn (most of which is probably completely normal to most people, so of course I’ll be the freak who enjoys what are probably the monotonous day to day tasks of others). Once I settle into this new sort of life style (that makes it sound like a much bigger deal than it actually is..), I have so many other little goals that I’ve been dreaming of since long before I was even blogging. More acting, YouTube, singing, lifeguarding, sewing, convention attending, small career and connection opportunities. I want to do it all. I’m so interested in so many things and I have such a wide tolerance for what most people consider stress. I work well under pressure; something shoves me and I will shove it right back.

I can tell you right now though (and I’m sure anyone and everyone reading this is freaking out on me right about now, with my overachiever banner practically slapping everyone in the face in that last paragraph), I am definitely the type of person who would push themselves too far, and then still feel like they’re not doing enough. Not having enough sense to balance my efforts in every aspect of life, whether it’s dancing or keeping my house clean /might/ be an issue *nervous glance*. I’ve got so many habits to break and change and form. For one, writing blog posts at a quarter past midnight is out of the question *awkward cough*. Night time being my most mentally aware, inspired and functional time is not ideal. Squirming when faced with repetitive tasks like washing dishes and doing laundry. They’re all things that will kick me in the throat if I don’t actively work to fix them. Having the type of personality that I have (ENFP, if you’re wondering) means I will get bored easily if I’m not challenged and stimulated.

 

I also ramble. Have you ever noticed that? I suppose my best blog posts have all been born from my rambling though. Three ‘meh’ paragraphs about college is more than I’ve managed to write in MONTHS (much to Grace’s dismay). I should probably cap it off here and save some things to tell you about on another occasion. Yes, surprisingly I do have a few more things to talk about. I’m going to Disney World for Star Wars Weekends in a little less than a couple of weeks (AND SEEING MY BEST FRIEND CAN I GET AN ‘AWW YEAYUH’), then I have dance camp towards the end of June and in the first week of July I’ll be in Texas at a Christian Convention. And can’t forget about sending in all my paperwork for admissions to school and going to get immunizations and scraping together supplies and new clothes for school. Keeping up with my fandoms and general geek culture is pretty high on my list of priorities too…I becoming am a busy lady. Life’s just getting starting, this Punzie is leaving her tower (finding her Eugene Fitzherbert would be a great plus *holds breath and waits eagerly*).

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This is where the fun begins ✍

 

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How does one blog

Honestly I don’t know anymore. I remember blogging being something fluent and enjoyable and now I’m so stumped. I suppose I feel like no one will be interested in what I’m doing so everything seems unbearably boring in my mind. Anyway. Since August I’ve been (finally) taking dance again and in September I even started working at my studio teaching little ones to dance and occasionally teaching pre-teens to tap (tap is my specialty apparently). I joined the most advanced class offered at the studio and I still feel so awkward and out of place in the midst of the little twelve year olds and even the 15 and 16 year olds. Always talking about their proms and school sports and petty high school drama. *sigh*

 

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A recent performance at a festival venue. This is our hip hop costume.

 

So can you guess who just turned 18? Yeah it doesn’t help me to feel any better around teenagers. According to my mother I don’t count as a teenager anymore. That was right after she gave me ‘Frozen’ on DVD as my 18th birthday gift. Heh. While I have been watching ‘Frozen’ on repeat and researching extremely dirt cheap apartments near the small town college I plan on going to in the fall, I have been wondering why no one told me being a grown up was going to be a big game of hurry up and wait. Sure, everyone told me is was going to be tough, sometimes stressful and I was going to have to learn to make grown up decisions but I haven’t even had much opportunity to exercise the ever so mature sense of adulthood that I would like to believe I have.

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I’m going to have to get back into the habit of taking “real” pictures. For now enjoy my Instagram fodder.

Look at me, rambling on dryly like the adult I am. I promise I am still a fun person, I just recently went to Megacon with my best friend, and now I’m gearing up for dance recital in May (that would elicits more of a nervous gulp and a fun yay). I’ll cap it off here since I don’t want to thrill you *too* much with my exciting life. *quiet cough*